Author Archive

Boyz II Men

Friday, July 15th, 2011
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I saw a guy a while back who was young, married, and broke.  Sex with him was really hot because he would get down on his knees right after I closed the front door.  Sex was instant – right there in the front hallway.  He never asked if my roommates were home.  He just went [...]

Are you there, God? It’s me, Cassandra

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011
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You know how God is always talking to you? On her Master Class series on the OWN channel, Oprah imparts this wisdom: God is love God is Life And your life is always talking to you. God talked to me just this past Sunday, on the Fourth of July. I was at my friend Harley [...]

Poker Face

Monday, July 4th, 2011
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It’s a cold and windy San Francisco night.  I have a scarf around my neck and mittens on my hands. I’m biking down Market Street.  The wind is freezing.  It’s late June.   Welcome to the San Francisco Summer. I am racing to go see this new band that I caught at a queer open mic [...]

Gorging Frenzy

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011
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Mr. Prada Loafers sent me an email the other day. It’s been years since I’ve heard from him. I can’t say that I’ve missed him. Because, right away, he starts asking for my favorite scene. It’s always these fantasies with him. You know how I’m rather tortured and never live in the moment? Well, I [...]

Hello Again

Thursday, June 9th, 2011
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Sorry for not writing for so long.  Ugggh!  My friend Hanks says that writing is like using a muscle – the less you use it, the more difficult it gets.  True, dat.  My writing muscle has atrophied atrociously.   And extra weight never looks good on anyone.  The thing is, I had every intention of writing.  [...]

The Magic of San Francisco

Friday, March 11th, 2011
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There is controversy brewing in the heavily gay Castro district in San Francisco. A group of nudists have descended upon the newly installed piazza at the 17th and Market street closure. The piazza itself has become the new town square. Young drag queens run, in platform stilettos, from bar to bar, trying to hustle up an audience. [...]

Happy Valentine’s…

Monday, February 14th, 2011
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So I was standing outside another dingy bar, having a cigarette with a fellow open mic stand-up comedian.  San Francisco is the city to be right now for standup comedy.  Multiple open mics every night of the week.  There are lots of aspiring comedians, but little cliques everywhere.  Me – I’m just trying to fit [...]

The Bridge and Tunnel…

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

So I was driving through downtown Oakland, from Chinatown to Berkeley, when I came across a Wig Superstore. The sign said, 100% human hair! Real and synthetic! Huge variety! Huge inventory discount! I couldn’t resist. I parked my car. I tried feeding the meter, but, like 99% of parking meters in Oakland, it was damaged [...]