Comments on: Actually, http://www.cassandragorgeous.com/2010/01/23/actually/ sex.    like you never expected.    so very san francisco. Sat, 14 Jan 2012 06:41:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: cathi http://www.cassandragorgeous.com/2010/01/23/actually/comment-page-1/#comment-4659 cathi Fri, 04 Feb 2011 04:06:17 +0000 http://www.cassandragorgeous.com/?p=1064#comment-4659 Perhaps speaking from experience, but when I use actually is often an admission of guilt to myself; for example, instead of saying I'm heading to NY and cannot see you and really don't want to see you, I'd say instead I'm actually heading to NY and am too chickenshit to tell you the truth about our relations. Why? That's the question. Why insert "actually?" Why emphasize something by saying "in fact" or "in reality"? There's a duality going on here that is perhaps false. If, in fact (haha), something "real" needed to be reinforced to make it believable then it suggests that what came before was not "real" to begin with. What's interesting is what is not being said, rather what is said by the inclusion of "actually." ----------- Oh, Cathi, thanks a lot. What a debbie downer. I may have to go slit my wrist now. So you're saying I imagined this whole thing... commit me to a lunatic asylum. But what is love but an infatuation that resists rationality? Thanks for writing... Cass Perhaps speaking from experience, but when I use actually is often an admission of guilt to myself; for example, instead of saying I’m heading to NY and cannot see you and really don’t want to see you, I’d say instead I’m actually heading to NY and am too chickenshit to tell you the truth about our relations. Why? That’s the question. Why insert “actually?” Why emphasize something by saying “in fact” or “in reality”? There’s a duality going on here that is perhaps false. If, in fact (haha), something “real” needed to be reinforced to make it believable then it suggests that what came before was not “real” to begin with. What’s interesting is what is not being said, rather what is said by the inclusion of “actually.”
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Oh, Cathi, thanks a lot. What a debbie downer. I may have to go slit my wrist now. So you’re saying I imagined this whole thing… commit me to a lunatic asylum. But what is love but an infatuation that resists rationality? Thanks for writing… Cass

]]> By: Brian http://www.cassandragorgeous.com/2010/01/23/actually/comment-page-1/#comment-1832 Brian Sat, 30 Jan 2010 12:20:06 +0000 http://www.cassandragorgeous.com/?p=1064#comment-1832 Hi Cass, What makes you such a good TOP and writer is your extraordinary wit and sensitivity. As you fondled the nuances of the meaning of "actually," I realized that you drew me into a shared moment of intospection (well done!). What this introspection revealed for me is that most times the object of our affection is actually the image of our pent up desire for love, intimacy and companionship. I guess that it's like what behaviorists call "imprinting." Whenever a chick hatches it becomes attached to (loves?) whichever animal is closest to it at that time. I think Gym Boy is the guy that best fits the image of your desire de jour. It's not a counterfeit desire, so carpe diem. He may have been too distraught about this trip, when you first texted him, to be engaged in the conversation then. After some time passed he realized how he must have sounded to you. Maybe you should give him another chance, but whatever you decide; don't bury your heart. If you must; store your heart carefully away for the next "Gym Boy." xoxo, B ---------------- Brian. THANK YOU. you make me feel like my attempts at writing are worthwhile. at the end of the day, it's all that matters. Cassandra Hi Cass,

What makes you such a good TOP and writer is your extraordinary wit and sensitivity. As you fondled the nuances of the meaning of “actually,” I realized that you drew me into a shared moment of intospection (well done!).

What this introspection revealed for me is that most times the object of our affection is actually the image of our pent up desire for love, intimacy and companionship. I guess that it’s like what behaviorists call “imprinting.” Whenever a chick hatches it becomes attached to (loves?) whichever animal is closest to it at that time.

I think Gym Boy is the guy that best fits the image of your desire de jour. It’s not a counterfeit desire, so carpe diem. He may have been too distraught about this trip, when you first texted him, to be engaged in the conversation then. After some time passed he realized how he must have sounded to you.

Maybe you should give him another chance, but whatever you decide; don’t bury your heart. If you must; store your heart carefully away for the next “Gym Boy.”

xoxo,
B
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Brian. THANK YOU. you make me feel like my attempts at writing are worthwhile. at the end of the day, it’s all that matters. Cassandra

]]> By: Ruby http://www.cassandragorgeous.com/2010/01/23/actually/comment-page-1/#comment-1785 Ruby Mon, 25 Jan 2010 11:48:30 +0000 http://www.cassandragorgeous.com/?p=1064#comment-1785 Cass, You just made "actually" my new favorite word, right up there with "maleficence". You're right, there are so many shades to it. When I feel down, I'll say to myself, "Actually, your life is gorgeous." And you know what? It actually is. Thank you my dear. -Ruby --------------- You're most welcome, Ruby. Cass,

You just made “actually” my new favorite word, right up there with “maleficence”. You’re right, there are so many shades to it. When I feel down, I’ll say to myself, “Actually, your life is gorgeous.” And you know what? It actually is. Thank you my dear.

-Ruby
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You’re most welcome, Ruby.

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