I share the best secrets with my readers.  Right now the best deal in San Francisco is an all-you-can-eat Japanese lunch for $12.99.  This includes not only sushi and the various rolls, but also deep fried appetizers and entrees.  The best part?  You order off their menu – everything is freshly made to order – and the quality is unbelievable.  This is not some cheap, Chinese-run version of a Japanese buffet (my people have really perverted the genre) but The Real Deal.  The same meal you had at lunch would easily cost you two, three times at dinner.  It’s the same thick slices of fish you’d expect at a good sushi joint.  I can’t rave enough about this find.  The restaurant is called Barracuda Sushi and I LOVE them.

I discovered the restaurant about a month ago and I immediately told Reuben.  He wanted to go that day.  When I couldn’t, the motherfucker cheated on me by taking his co-worker friend!  I take my eating partnerships very seriously.  Reuben will have to work very hard at reestablishing my trust.  I think, at a minimum, he needs to take me out to San Tung and spoil me with their famous dried fried chicken wings.

Well, the week after they ate at Barracuda’s Reuben’s co-worker friend committed suicide.  Now Reuben won’t eat at the restaurant again because it reminds him of where they had their last meal.  This makes me sad.  I need Reuben to accompany me to all-you-can-eat restaurants.  He deflects the attention away from me.  When people see the mounds of empty plates on our table and a skinny Asian and a burly Mexican they always think the Mexican ate everything.  

Today I braved it and went, alone, to Barracuda Sushi for their lunch buffet.  It was so delicious.  I love dipping the Chicken Karage (deep fried chicken thigh meat – which is so much more tender and juicy than the breast meat they use for Chicken Katsu) into my wasabi soy sauce mix. 

And I couldn’t help but wonder, why would anyone kill themselves when there’s so much good eating left in this world?

I can only think of one period in my life when I lost my appetite for food.  It was back in my school days, when I confessed a crush to a schoolmate.  He outright rejected me.  It was so cold.  When everyone else was studying for finals all I could do was to drive myself out to the Berkeley Marina and cry while gazing at the Pacific Ocean.    

I lost fifteen pounds during that period.  My taste buds, like my heart, had no feelings left.  I remember it being a very strange sensation even at the time – to walk past places that served food with no interest or desire to see what the food was.  I was like, who is this person?  What have I become? 

Thankfully, my depression lasted only a month.  But I knew, even in my darkest hours, that the day would come when food would taste good again.  My month long stint as an anorexic taught me some very important life lessons.  Rejections hurt.  Investing in others means less self-love for me.  If it’s selfish to keep the spotlight on me because I’m just not wired to beam it upon someone else, then so be it.  And, fuck all the well-adjusted, emotionally-healthy people in this world: good food will get you through some rough patches in life. 

Nevertheless, depression and suicide are issues not to be toyed with lightly.  I did not know Reuben’s deceased co-worker very well.  I don’t want to fake an emotion that’s not there. 

I will say this, however.

The “Holidays” are hard.  It’s trying times for everyone.  Every doubt, every insecurity, every missing gap in your life is magnified stupendously. 

You can put on weight by just looking at all the food! 

I, for one, cannot put up with the yo-yo dieting any longer.  Who really looks forward to losing the Holiday Weight Gain?  Marcel ate his last buffet, and a week later he checked out.  Without ever having to hit the gym again. 

Who’s to say it was the wrong choice?

Marcel, you cranky sweet old man: I hope you enjoyed that last buffet.  I’m sure it wasn’t as good as seeing Cher in Vegas but you have to admit it was a good deal.  Thanks for being yourself to the very end.  You were bitchy when you felt it.  You were generous and kind when it was needed.  Your spotlight on you kept it real.  When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go. 

I hope I have the balls to do the same. 

On that note, Happy Holidays, everyone! 

Keep that spotlight on you in the New Year.  To thine own self be true.  If you’re an all-man heterosexual male who loves sucking tranny cock and bending over and having her pound you relentlessly, own it.  Own it.  Work it.  Be it.

Best Wishes in the New Year, Cassandra.

Tags: food