Ewwwww!!!!
The other day I had a most intense craving for Shin Ramyun (Hot & Spicy) noodles. They’re instant ramen noodles with a thicker, more chewy, texture. But what really set them apart from their peers are their flavoring packets. You get one for the dried vegetables, and another for the intense, RED-hot chili broth. If you’ve never ventured beyond cup-of-noodles, these flavorings will knock your socks off.
Cook the noodles til they’re just al dente. The trick is to under cook them and then turn the heat off with the lid on so the noodles s-t-e-a-m to an al dente perfection. Crack an egg into the broth at the end — you want a runny yolk that will burst and permeate your broth with a velvety complexion. Finally, top it off with a sprinkling of the secret ingredient that makes you wet.
In my case, it’s crispy fried bacon pieces.
I decide to enjoy my bowl of spicy noodle soup while reading celebrity gossip websites. OH!!! OH!!! OHHHHH!!!! (I just came a little.) Just thinking about the combination of the two gives me a hard-on. Sometimes, in moments of absolute sobering clarity, I realize I will probably never be able to truly love another person.
I know how to please myself too much.
I go into Reuben’s room to read the celebrity gossip blogs because he has a desktop. I set the bowl down, and turn on the monitor. But first I have to clear all the windows of the various porn sites he’s visited. Reuben visits “free” porn sites so some of them, even when you try to close them, pops up another window. It takes forever to close all of them.
And, finally, I’m reading Perez Hilton as I’m chowing down on my Shin Ramyun Noodle Soup. But instead of settling into a peaceful, blissful state, I am in a frenzy. I’m slurping my noodles because they taste sooooo good. And can you believe Paris Hilton dumped her latest boyfriend because she discovered he was only after her fame and money? And oooooh the fat from the bacon really rounds out the spiciness of the broth – it gives it such depth – I am slurping it so fast that the soup is running down my chin.
I grab a tissue on the desk and dab my mouth with it. I wipe the soup off my chin, the beads of sweat off my forehead.
This tissue is awfully stiff, I thought to myself.
Why is it so…. crunchy?
Why is it so… wadded up?
And was Reuben using it to clean his desk because it smells… so Clorox?
EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! EWWWWWWWW!!!!
Reuben you disgusting fuck!
Don’t you throw away your cleanup tissues after you masturbate?
YUCK
YUCK
YUCK!!!
Tags: food, Perez Hilton, Reuben, Shin Ramyun noodles
Love your writing dear Cass. I too love the exotic noodle variations. I luv to experiment with the choices at the asian mart. As for Reuben, yes….YUK. Even in your own quarters, at least dispose dude. Come to Portland luv.
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Hey did I tell you I think I’ll be there in October? : ) Cass
Cass,
I read your page again – you write so well. I am busy, hectic, tired & bored. A comment from is like reading a good book. You comments are always, on the mark. Simply amazing. Also, I am usually with women. But you are a different world. I am over the top attracted you. Everything, your looks, thought of being between your legs, kissing, making love. Pampering you. Your overall appearance, is ‘art’. One of these days, I will in SF, and I will have the pleasure of dinner & time with you. I hope I bring joy and desire. A soft lovely kiss on your lips and the back of your neck. It has been a very long time since I have been so attracted to someone, that to be in company of simply bores me with anything else.
Warm Feelings. GARY
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Oh Stop, Gary, don’t stop. I mean, enuff already! ok, maybe just a few more compliments and then my head will explode. : ) Cass