My date yesterday was half an hour late. It was a gorgeous Sunday in San Francisco. I had made plans to go to the beach right after getting my blowjob. My friend Wolf was waiting for me.

I was annoyed. Sometimes I really want to tell my dates, “you know, prostitutes have lives too.” I hate waiting around. So I smoked a little 420 to chill me out: no one pays for a bad-tempered prostitute. And, just for safety I made myself a nice Madras cocktail. By the time he arrived I was having quite a nice little time all by myself.

I had met up with this date once before. He was cute, from what I remember. Mostly I remember that he came really quickly after he had my candy in his mouth.

This time around the energy was intense from the get go. No introductions, no small talk. As soon as I closed my bedroom doors he sat me down on my bed and pulled my leopard-print mini skirt up around my waist. He started licking my candy through my black lace panties. As my candy grew and stretched out my panties my left nut rolled out. He took that nut into his warm mouth and caressed it with his wet tongue. Then he lifted up panties entirely and took both nuts in his mouth. Gently he rolled them around in his mouth, one at a time, taking the care to give each nut an O-shaped kiss with his lips before moving on to the other. By the time he moved on to kissing and licking my inner thighs my candy was HARD HARD HARD.

At that moment I can’t imagine I was ever mad at him. The secrets to world peace must have a component of oral sex to it. The Palestinians need to blow the Jews, and vice versa. It feels THAT good.

I hand him a condom. He unrolls it down my shaft. He goes to town on my candy. I pull up a couple pillows behind my back and just chill, watching him devour my candy. There is such an intense look of concentration on his face. I see this often with guys who have fantasized about sucking off a she-male for a long time. They don’t get to do this often, so when they finally have it in their mouths it is like experiencing sex for the first time. It’s like I can see from the intensity of his blowjob all the nights he’s stayed up late jerking off to T-girl porn. Finally he gets to suck off a girl of his own.

He catches me looking at him, observing him. And he gets up from his knees and comes onto the bed. He kisses my neck. It is warm and wet. He brings his lips up to mine. His lips are soft, and his head is sweaty. I open my mouth and meets his tongue with mine. He explores my mouth hesitantly, shyly, not at all like the way he went down on my candy. I suck on his tongue. He moans.

He is sweating like a pig. I tell him to take off his clothes.

I know Wolf is waiting for me to go to the beach. But Wolf will have to wait a little bit longer. I’ll take him out to dinner to make up for being late.

This is one heck of a blow job I’m getting and I don’t feel like cutting it short.

He goes back down on his knees and takes my candy in his mouth. Only this time he’s looking into my eyes the whole time he’s sucking me off.  He reaches for my hands and holds them. He’s making sweet love to my candy. He’s gazing into my eyes. I must look like pure bliss as the weed and alcohol have every cell in my body feeling the goodness of his mouth working my cock. And he whispers

I Love You. He says it again, I Love You, Cassandra.

If hookers received report cards, then having a client say to you, unprompted and in the throes of ecstasy, that they love you — it’s like getting an A-plus. It’s like scoring off the charts, don’t you think? I felt soo good I responded by pushing his head deeper into my crotch so that my candy was hitting his esophagus. I wanted him to remember this moment.

You know what Reuben said when I later told him this story?

He accused me of being an emotional voyeur.

Sometimes I think the Bay Area gets carried away with all this psycho-babble. What the fuck is an “emotional voyeur?” Such loaded terminology. I will cop to being a narcissist, however. But I don’t know about an emotional voyeur.

Next thing you know he’ll be calling me an emotional terrorist.  Because I’m holding their hearts hostage.

Pretty soon after that I might as well be called the al Qaeda hooker.  Cause you know I’m da bomb!

Can’t a girl just get paid to enjoy a really good blow job without being made to feel guilty?

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Tags: sleazy