A day at Golden Gate Park
It was one of the first days of spring. My friend Sarah was so inspired by the sunshine that she went out and bought a badminton set. She got a group together at Golden Gate Park. To make sure there was enough chilled beer to last through the afternoon I went and bought a new cooler.
We were spread out on a blanket: sipping wine, drinking beer. The quintessential San Francisco vibe. The twenties and early-thirties, soaking up the sun. It was beautiful. We were beautiful.
And then I had to ruin everything. Maybe because I’m not so beautiful and rather ugly on the inside?
How did we start talking politics? I forgot. Perhaps I instigated it. The conversation drifted to the murder of four Oakland Police Officers by Lovelle Mixon. In short, Mixon was a parolee who shot two of the OPD’s while getting pulled over on a routine traffic stop. He then stood over them and shot them again, point blank, to make sure they were dead. When he was later traced to his sister’s apartment, he hid in the front closet and killed the first two SWAT members who entered the room. Oh, and to top things off his DNA was implicated in a child rape case.
And so what was a lovely, gorgeous day at Golden Gate Park took on a decidedly upsetting tone. Mostly due to me. I couldn’t help it. I must be missing a social gene that steers me to appropriate conversation subjects when in polite company. But you know what really set me off? That, at the candlelight vigil for the fallen officers, there were protesters in support of this loser.
That’s right: they wanted to “remember” his life of robberies, and child-rapes, and cop-killings.
At an event dedicated to the fallen officers who he killed.
I was further aghast (infuriated, really – heck I was ready to kill someone myself!) when some members of my group said they could “see where the protesters may have a point.”
Now, I love the liberal white folks in San Francisco. Sarah works in wildlife conservation and endangered species protection (As she so lovingly points out, her mission in life is to get my people — the Chinese – to stop eating everything!). The blond girl helps pregnant Native American women obtain healthcare services through her non-profit organization. The Jewish girl is a librarian. The sole white male of the group works at a community health clinic for low income San Franciscans.
With a group like this, it’s almost like they can’t help themselves: they *have* to play devil’s advocate. And I love them, I really do! I appreciate their sincerity, their ideals, their passions. They MAKE San Francisco.
Nevertheless, I disagree with them, vehemently, over the right and the point of the protestors at the officer’s vigil. What I should have said, if I wasn’t so hot-headed, was:
1) Regardless of the merit of “celebrating” Mixon’s life, the candlelight vigil for the slain officers was a grossly inappropriate avenue. Period.
2) To conflate the issue of police brutality with the heinous murders of the four OPD officers is lazy and irresponsible reasoning. This is not a case of tit-for-tat. To the protesters who yelled, “It’s payback time for Oscar Grant“: NO, it’s not. Mixon wasn’t making no damn statement about police brutality when he shot the officers in cold blood. He was a selfish criminal who did not want to go back to prison for violating his parole and for charges relating to child rape. Seriously, why attach police brutality (a real and legitimate concern) to such an unworthy brother?
3) Show some respect. These officers died doing their jobs to protect us. We owe them our gratitude. (I know this affinity for law enforcement sounds weird coming from a prostitute, but you can bet that if one of my customers ever cause me problems I am running straight to the SFPD.)
So that’s what I should have said. But did I say it?
Of course not.
You want to know what I did say?
OMG it’s *really* embarrassing.
Reuben and I have this signal for awkward moments: we press the index finger and the middle finger together and scratch the palm of our left hand, and whisper under our breath: awkward.
So when I finish telling you what I said to my lovely group of friends, I want you to do the awkward signal scratch with me.
Ready?
I wasn’t thinking. I just blurted it out. I meant no harm.
I said: “Is it possible that you’re bending over backwards for this loser because you guys are Overcompensating for LIBERAL WHITE GUILT?”
And there was complete silence. The wind must have carried my indignant question all throughout Golden Gate Park because every white person there just went silent. And looked at me.
The. Angry. Asian. Transvestite. Hooker.
Now, everyone, do the awkward scratch with me.
Awkward.
Awkward.
Awkward.
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Tags: race
There is a seemingly unusual clarity in your voice. It is almost contradictory but, at the same time, genuine and authentic. Is it really your voice I hear? If so, my heart is listening.
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Hey Dee! Thanks for writing. So what’s the contradiction you see? BTW, I LOVE talking about myself. So when you couple a compliment with some insightful critique, I can’t wait to hear you expand on it. I love feedback. I hope you continue reading my blog and take the time to tell me which writings work for you and which ones don’t. Most importantly, please explain why. You’re a sweetheart for writing. Thanks, Cass
I totally agree with. The dead officers and their family need to be respected. Mixon had nothing to do with Grant. There’ no defending but, there’s also no defending torture. Yes, if SWAT had killed I would have wanted to beat him to a pulp myself. However, to quote Mario Cuomo, ” I want a lw that’s better than me.”
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Hear, hear. You know, I believe I was exaggerating a bit (artistic license, if you will) when I suggested I condone torture. In fact, Obama’s 100th day press conference, and the subsequent media attention on his response to torture, has got me thinking… I think a blog post on torture may just come up in the near future. I hope you’ll follow the blog to read it! Kisses, Cass
Hi
I enjoy your writing. l live in Scottsdale and ran into your ad.
Too bad, the subject “race” can’t be discussed without raising blood pressures.
And, as an Af. Am. ,that’s my point. There are individual conflicts; people have them and may or may not get over them. In the political realm, the one in which cops kill Blacks and the other way around (on rare occasions) the notion of “individual” goes out of the proverbial window, and an aware observer sees the real world, with all of its warts.
As an Asian, you might better understand political conflict when referencing Nanking. The Japanese sacked a city. Individuals didn’t count for a damn thing. The same with the helpless women who were used by Japan’s military as prostitutes. If you, Cassandra, happens to be Japanese, think of Hiroshima and ask yourself about what concerns the Allies had for individuals. Hell, Europeans resided in Hiroshima on Sept 5t, 1945. (?)
I’m suggesting that politics is what the protesters were concerned with, i.e., the senseless and continuing slaughter of innocent Blacks and Latins, and often, without concern for the individual–a main concern for the Black community at large. When a child leaves home, a mother doesn’t know if she’ll see him again.
You think dissenters at a funeral are inappropriate? LOL Try becoming the mother of a child shot down in cold blood, a child totally unknown to the cop and try living with the knowledge that your child’s killer–because of politics, not individualism, will never spend a single day in jail?
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Jon: Thank you, sincerely, for taking the time to write. I think I understand your point, but I’m not sure. In the scenario you propose in the last paragraph, is the cop the killer of the child? In that case, of course it’s wrong. I’m not defending police brutality or racial profiling.
My roommate and longtime friend Reuben is Mexican. His boyfriend is African American. I’m Chinese. My other roommate is white. I would like to live my life where I can interact with each of them as individuals and not as members of a race. At the same time, I want to acknowledge the significant role of race, and of racial injustice, in society.
That’s why I started the category “Race Matters.” Because race both matters and doesn’t matter. But it should never be the definitive factor. I want to be judged as an individual and I want to engage other people as individuals. Hopefully, if I do a good enough job writing, my philosophy will come through in future posts.
Nevertheless, I stand firm in my heels that Mixon was a coward and a no-good son of a bitch. And I hold the same opinion of the white boy who shot three Pittsburgh officers. Race should be irrelevant in these situations, no?
One last thing. I want to end with a significant passage from one of my favorite essays of all time. In her essay, “Who Shot Johnny,” Debra Dickerson, a feminist African American Harvard-educated attorney, and an aunt to Johnny, who was 16 when he was shot and paralyzed for life, had this to say about Johnny’s attacker:
He chased all the small entrepreneurs from our neighborhood with his violent thievery and put bars on our windows. He kept us from sitting on our own front porch after dark and laid the foundation for our periodic bouts of self-hating anger and racial embarrassment. He made our neighborhood a ghetto… We despise and disown this anomalous loser, but for many he IS black America.
I think you hit it right on the head. Frankly, I am tired of hearing the race card used to justify true evil. While it is necessary to empathize as much as possible before judging a crime in its entirety, sometimes we should be able to say, “That is an evil person, who is worthy of neither sympathy or empathy.” It is ok to hate evil without reservation. It may have been awkward to call them out for it, but attempting to empathize with that scum can only be born of guilt.
The intrusion at the funeral was in bad taste, and is certainly not the place to air greviences. To do so associates their cause with a child rapist and mass-murderer, and it will never be advanced by that.
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Hey Shawn… hmmm… I kinda hear you on some points, and I disagree with you on others. I’m glad we come from the same point on judging a person as an individual, and not as part of a race. But my point about liberal white guilt was not that they did something wrong or should feel guilty. I actually associate LWG with people who are super nice and sensitive, with so much empathy for the plight of others. If more Americans shared this trait I believe the world would be a better place. At the very least we certainly wouldn’t have reelected W. Bush.
Dear Cassandra,
Well spoken and about time someone pointed out that the reason scum like Mixon should never have been let out of prison in the first place is that they are crazy and can’t follow the rules of civilized society.
Love,
Suzi
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Thanks for writing Suzi! xoxoxo Cass
I agree wholeheartedly with with your more thoughtful and temperate response: points 1,2 and 3. I applaude you for offering a forum for sincere and reponsible conversations about race on your blog (kudos) and although I’m not much of a writer I’m looking forward to adding my perspecitve as an African-American to these subjects.
I feel your frustration over your friends simpathy for the protesters. I think that their understanding of matters about race is superficial and shortsighted but well-intentioned. Even if I lived in San Francisco I don’t think that I could see (agree with) the protesters point. Just don’t ruin the vibe next time
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Brian! I hope you do come back to the blog and comment as you see fit! And you’re right, I gotta stop being such a vibe killer. That’s so 70′s feminist. I’m a FUN hooker! xoxoxo Cass
after all this time i see your post on cl and find that you are the one hope to meet
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Thanks danny, Cass
You’re right of course. But hey… I remember you commenting on my blog that I had come around on my view of race relations… I think you’re the one who has come to my camp, my friend. I would be hard pressed to come up with a more infelicitous, counter-productive occasion to demonstrate against police brutality. See http://www.marclamonthill.com/video-of-the-day-516-6432
It’s Bill O’Reilly versus Marc Lamont Hill, a professor who specializes in the African American experience. But honestly I would have expected the old, um, Cassandra to sound more like the professor. We’re with O’Reilly on this one, I’m afraid.
Great blog, BTW, it looks great and very impactful. Glad you finally got it up! Look forward to more of your biting commentary.
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Awww…. Thanks Jake. *hug* Casss