I ran into a cute acquaintance at the gym tonight.  Perhaps acquaintance is too generous a word.  We’ve met many, many times before at 80′s nite at the Bar on Castro.  Before it relocated and became the Bar on Church.  Tonight was the first time  we conversed in an alcohol-free environment.  And I forgot his name.

We ended up doing abs next to each other toward the end of our workouts.  Ab exercises aren’t my favorite.  My cute acquaintance is skinny, so, naturally, he LOVES to work out his abs.  He shows me some of his ab routine that gives him such lean, defined, and sculpted abs.  I oooh and aaah over his technique but secretly I think his abs are just genetics – pure metabolism.  It’s not that hard to have a 12 pack when your protruding ribs count as part of the package.

He is a very nice guy.  I’m glad we got the chance to converse.  Somehow the conversation shifted to how he just got some pot brownies from a friend of his.  Who, in turn, got it from a cannabis club.  I’ve had these pot brownies before and they’re VERY good.  Delicious.  Intoxicating.  And only costs FIVE bucks!

Please, I beg him, if you ever get more from your friend, can you get some for me?

No problem, he says.  In fact, I have it in the locker room and you can take some home tonight.

I appreciate this gesture.  I know he’s reaching out.  Being accessible.  He is cute and he is nice.  With great abs.  Very good combination.

FYI, they’re really strong, he says.  You don’t want to do more than a half.

Oh, I know! I bat my eyelashes at him.  I only do a SIXTH at a time because I’m such a lightweight. I’m trying to portray myself as a dainty girl.  I cut each brownie into six pieces and one piece is all I need!

We head to the locker room for the exchange.

How much were they? I ask.  Are they still $5 dollars a brownie?

Oh, don’t worry about it, he says.

Very, very cool, I think to myself.  It makes me want to extend the gesture of friendship even further.

I press a ten into his hands.  I want to be generous.  I want to reciprocate the gesture of friendship.

And he takes out one brownie, carefully breaks off  one-SIXTH of it, and hands it to me.

I really want my money back.  I want to explain that he misunderstood me.  But I don’t have the balls.  I will do my best to enjoy the really expensive one-SIXTH of a pot brownie.

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Tags: life